goddess

Lunar Return

I was born with the moon at zero degrees in Cancer, and I celebrate my lunar return every month during the transit from Gemini. It’s a pleasant time for me, as my intuition is heightened and I can feel My Lady’s presence that much better.

Though Lady Saraswati is not a “moon goddess”, her iconography is rich with lunar imagery. She wears a crescent moon as her crown, and her praise invariably includes references to the beauty and splendor of the full moon. Incorporating lunar observances into my practice helps me connect with that aspect of her.

My Favorite Benzaiten

Benzaiten UkiyoeAoigaoka Keisei, “Benzaiten Seated on a White Dragon”
Edo Period woodblock print, Metropolitan Museum of Art

This is one of my favorite images of Benzaiten-sama. It is (I believe, though I am not sure) a scene from the famous medieval epic Heike Monogatari. Benzaiten-sama was said to be the patroness of the Heike clan (better known in historical sources as the Taira). Yet she is sometimes said to have withdrawn her support of the Taira due to the hubris of Taira no Kiyomori, the clan patriarch. This in turn led to their defeat by the newly ascendant Minamoto clan, who would establish the first permanent shogunate.

Objective Fact and Subjective Truth: What’s in a Name?

Let me get this off my chest right away: I really wanted Sarasvati’s name to have a pretty meaning. I was dead set on it meaning “The Flowing One,” because…well, that fits in so perfectly with how I experience her. She is a goddess of things that flow: water, fortune, inspiration, ideas, communication. You name it. She rules the tides of my heart. (And yes, I’m aware of how sappy that sounds. Deal.)

Contemporary Hindu sources, give the etymology of her name as “Sara” and “Sva,” that is, the knowledge of one’s self or essence. A very pretty explanation too, but not one I find useful, as I am already far too prone to self-absorbed navel-gazing. I’d make a very good Pythia, as I “know myself” perhaps a little too well.

What does Sarasvati’s name actually mean, though? For a start, Herself was originally the genius loci of the mysterious Sarasvati River in Ancient India. She was a Vedic deity, and as such, was not anthropomorphized except as poetically necessary. She was the river, spoken of as gushing in mighty torrents that broke the peaks of mountains. In the Rig Veda one is more likely to hear talk of Sarasvati’s roaring waters than anything else. She was not conceived of as a beautiful goddess, but as the awesome waters of the river.

The meaning of Sarasvati’s name is thus the meaning of the river’s name. In an unusually richly cited and clearly reliable article, Wikipedia details the etymology of the River’s name. In the proto-Indo-Iranian languages of Ancient India and the Near East, *sáras-va-tī meant “marshy” or “full of pools.” In later Sanskrit, the masculine sáras meant “pool” or “pond,” while the feminine sárasī meant specifically a stagnant pool or a swamp. A connection with the Sanskrit *sar-, or “flow, to run” is specifically singled out as being unlikely. Thus, the river’s name was likely a description of the terrain of the area: marshy, a swamp, full of stagnant pools.

But here we come to the distinction I posited in the title of this post: Objective Fact and Subjective Truth.

The facts are that Sarasvati’s name means “marshy, full of pools,” and refers to her origins as the genius loci of the Sarasvati River. One cannot dispute that her name did not originally mean “knowledge of self” or “the flowing one.” That was simply not what it meant in Vedic times. The Sarasvati River was not named for either of those things, and thus, neither was my goddess. Those are the plain, bone dry facts.

However, facts are in the domain of rationality and measurable, verifiable experience. Once you leave the realm of objectively verifiable, materialistic facts that are required in the social and natural sciences (and to a lesser extent, in the humanities), you stumble into experiences that simply require a different framework for evaluation. There is a reason that individual, mystical experiences have their own acronym in the Pagan community (UPG – unverified/unverifiable personal gnosis). The sublime and the numinous comes to each person differently, if it comes at all.

In fact, the experience of the sublime is usually considered to be unique to the individual, simply as a given. This is why, in the pagan community, SPG (Shared Personal Gnosis, also called PCPG, or Peer-Corroborated Personal Gnosis) is often such an incredibly validating experience. For example, I stumbled across a poster on a Pagan forum who worked with Sarasvati. This person claimed that Herself had a thing for being surrounded by crystals. I promptly freaked out, as this is something I could verify in my own personal experience with Her: Sarasvati loves crystals and stones.

So what does this have to do with the meaning of the name “Sarasvati?” Well, it all comes down to the idea of there being a concept of subjective Truth, as well as the more ordinary, rational truth (with a lowercase-t) shown to us by facts. Myth is often held up as an example of Truth rather than truth. The ancient stories of deities reveal Truth (with an uppercase-T) about Them that the academic texts do not. To a Hellene, the objective reality of Greek myths is irrelevant, because the myths speak to the sublime. They reveal reality on a different level than the material.

So let’s consider the etymologies again. Factually, objectively, historically, Sarasvati means “marshy, full of pools” and indicates the swampy terrain of the river. But the goddess is more than just what the river was, and for those who seek self-discovery with her, the Truth (uppercase-T!) is that her name means “knowledge of self.” For someone like me, the Truth – the reality revealed to me by my own experiences with the sublime – is that Sarasvati’s name means “the flowing one.”

So may your god bless you, whichever one that is.

A Poem to Sarasvati: Give Me Water

by Anne Megerian

Maha Sarasvati Ma, give me water,

Loosen the knots that tie my tongue.

Let the words trapped inside flow from me,

Sarasvati, mother, master, lover.

***

I have a song inside to sing for you.

Give me water, Maha Sarasvati Ma.

Mother, master, lover, queen.

Let me sing of you; give me water.

 ***

Maha Sarasvati Ma, pour your water down on me.

Let it wash away my tangled thoughts.

Set the words inside me free; Sarasvati, mother, master, dream.

I will sing for you, pour down your water on me!

A Poem to Sarasvati: The Jasmine Moon

By Anne Megerian

Maha Sarasvati

Fair as the Jasmine Moon

You call to me

with Lotuses in your hair

***

Maha Sarasvati

Sister of the Crescent Moon

You call to me

With the song of wisdom on your lips

***

Maha Sarasvati

Adorned with the Crystal Moon

You call to me

With love I cannot comprehend

***

Maha Sarasvati

Holding the Precious Moon

You call to me

With my heart cradled in your hands

***

Maha Sarasvati, I can be nothing but yours

On my Mysticism: or, does anyone really want to hear me whine about this?

I am a mystic in the sense that I have a very intimate connection with the divine. In particular, I am connected to the Pan-Asian Hindu and Buddhist goddess Sarasvati, though to me She very often comes across as the incredibly Japanese Benzaiten-sama. You see, the divine I connect to is not an impersonal entity, but one with a very definite personality. She likes yogurts and rich, fresh milk from pastured cows….and She loves strawberry ice cream. She is protective and loving, but a bit possessive. I am Hers and Hers alone.

When I came to the conclusion that the best way to define myself was as a “mystic,” I then wondered what the next step was. Writing about it seemed the obvious answer. Herself is a goddess of eloquence, and She orders my words in ways that others will understand. You see, I have no problem with inspiration. In fact, I have rather too much inspiration at times. My mind overflows with ideas, but I struggle to communicate them properly. From a metaphysical standpoint (and forgive the woo), my third eye chakra is incredibly active, while my throat chakra is…pitiful. It’s part of the Asperger’s, I suspect.

Sarasvati is a constant presence in my life now, in a way that I could only have dreamed in my days as a Christian, when I prayed to G-D and received no answer. She is always simply…there. The best way I can describe it is that she is immanent in my person. It is, needless to say, a very personal connection. Yet I’m not ashamed to talk about it to those who will understand. My problem is – who would really want to listen?

You see, when I say “I’ve got a goddess living inside me,” it sounds like I’m saying that makes me terribly important. And well…that’s not it. Sarasvati’s not confined to just being inside me. I know that, and I don’t want anyone to think for a moment that I’m some kind of authority on Her. If you want to know the facts about my goddess, check out a book from the library. Or better yet, ask a Hindu priest, or a Tibetan monk, or the priest at a Shrine of Benzaiten-sama. All I can tell you is what I know. And that’s actually just a small part of the picture.